Sunday, June 26, 2011

A Little Funny

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There's no use crying over spilled milk. Unless it's Chuck Norris's milk.
On the evolutionary chart chuck norris looks the same for last 50 million years because he was perfect from day one.
Chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his uzi
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

"I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you've got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish." - Chuck Norr

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