Saturday, April 16, 2011

Waiting For....Something...

When I picked out my races at the start of the year the April 3rd race seemed VERY far away.  Well, it is tends to do, time flies and the date snuck up on me.

The date sneaking up on my has really forced me to evaluate my training.  All winter I kept fighting the weather, waiting for training to REALLY start, etc.  Well now is the time for everything to start.  The spring is upon us, the birds are out and so am I.  

I could just have one more crappy meal, one more day on the spin bike instead of sprints outside....and so I feel like I'm four months into the year, and haven't made the progress that I'd hoped to all all this year.  There will be no more excuses and this will be the year I find balance and success. 

I feel like this is a balance between my perfectionist ways, being hard on myself and feeling lazy all at the same time.  Some days I don't know which side is going to win out.  Well,most days, I don't know which side is going to win out.  I do know that my thoughts switch back to running when I stop thinking about other things.  More often than not, they think about pushing myself harder tomorrow.  Why I didn't go up another hill today or why I didn't look at my watch and make up a few more seconds.

I know that making progress running is a hard battle to fight, filled with LOTS of hard work, miles, blood, seat sweat and tears.  My problem really lies in the line between me quitting before I've reached my potential and working myself too hard.  Its a line I've been trying to find for years and have ended it a few times with mono and once with a disconnected IT Band.

However, I feel like I can achieve more.  I need to push that line a little bit, every day.  Its true for every aspect of life, that pushing just a bit more each and every day can add up to a BIG impact down the road.  I always tell my clients to try to do just 5% better every day.  

My husband recently told me that I am all smiles at the end of my races and others are drooling, crying or really looking like they ran.   I'm not competitive.  I'm not going to win.  But I do need to fight the battle with myself and win.  

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